Order of Christian Funerals (Part 3 of 3)
The Community’s Ministry of Consolation
All are one in the Body of Christ
If one member suffers in the body of Christ which is the Church, all the members suffer with that member (1 Corinthians 12:26).
According to St. Paul, those who are baptized and share in the Table of the Lord are responsible and privileged to be in community with each other. Thus when a member of the Body of Christ dies, the community is called to the ministry of consolation.
Christian consolation is rooted in our belief in the death and resurrection of Christ. We face the reality of death; we admit the anguish of grief and trust that the Risen Lord has power over sin and death. Death is not a finality; there is life in the Risen Lord (OCF, 8).
The Church calls each member to participate in the ministry of consolation, namely to care for the dying, to pray for the dead, and to comfort those who mourn.
Principal Way to be involved in the Ministry of Consolation
According to the Order of Christian Funerals, the community’s principal involvement in the Ministry of Consolation is by active participation in the funeral rites (OCF, 11). All members of the Church are called to be of prayerful support.
Attending the Vigil, or stopping in for the Visitation, speaks quite clearly to the mourners of our prayerful support. It is our presence that is remembered.
Those who are able and free from other obligations during the day are encouraged to attend the funeral liturgy, praying for both the deceased community member and the grieving family and friends.
The presence and prayer of community members at the committal service at the graveside or mausoleum lets the mourners know once again the support that is being offered.
Other Ways to be Involved
As a faith community, we provide the Resurrection Choir, adult servers, and communion ministers. Sometimes we need to provide lectors.
Song leaders could lead music at the Vigil (opening song, responsorial psalm, closing song) and even at the Rite of Committal (a closing song). Music allows the community to express convictions and feelings that words alone may fail to convey. Music has the power to support, console and uplift the mourners (OCF, 30).
Also members of the community are always needed to help serve the funeral luncheon and provide salads and desserts.
What more can we do?
We can feel helpless and inadequate in expressing our sympathy to the bereaved family. A simple clear expression of “I’m sorry” is very appropriate. Asking how we can be of help allows the bereaved to name what they need and gives us a direction in doing acts of kindness. Most beneficial is our attentiveness and listening to those who are grieving. Often the telling of their stories about the loved one is a way for the mourners to move through the loss while holding on to joyful memories.
As the weeks and months go by after the funeral, we can keep in touch. Making contact with a card, phone call, or visit lets the grieving community members know that they have not been forgotten, that both they and their beloved dead are being remembered in our prayer. We often include a prayer in our daily intercessions for those who are grieving.
At St. Maria Goretti Parish, we have started the annual Mass of Remembrance on All Souls’ Day (November 2nd). At this Mass we remember in a special way all parishioners who have died in the last twelve months. All parishioners are invited and encouraged to come to this Mass and pray both for the dead and for those who are grieving the loss of their loved ones. It has been a significant community experience for our parish.
The Faith of the Community
The faith of the Christian community in the Resurrection of the dead is at the heart of our ministry of consolation. It is the sharing of this faith that brings the greatest support and strength to those who suffer the loss of a loved one. We will rise again on the Last Day.
Part 1: Understanding the Catholic Approach to the Funeral Rites
Part 2: Cremation